Saturday, May 14, 2005

B-b-bad To The Bone Pt. 2

The parcel arrived at lunchtime and I waited at the window until I saw the deliveryman get into his car and drive off before going outside to collect the parcel. Tomoko was sunning herself on the window ledge with eyes half closed, and pretended not to notice what I was doing.

With Tomoko's challenge still smarting my ears, I pulled off the wrapping and took the lid off the box inside. Somewhere within the crumpled sheets of newspaper lining the box, I heard a groggy growl. My paws were sweating.

Suddenly a head appeared from amongst the newspaper. My mouth went dry. "Arrrwoo?" he said, blinking becomingly and shaking his ears about. I stared at this doppelganger toydog, unable to think of anything to say. I began to wonder if this was all a big mistake.

The new dog did look very similar to me, not to mention much cleaner and fluffier. Sitting in the storage facility in the Chinese factory, I had of course hung out with hundreds of my identical brothers and sisters, but back then I hadn't realised how exactly identical we were, if you know what I mean.

"Arwooo?" the new dog said again, craning his neck out to sniff me. I suppressed a grimace. "Ummm," said the dog, "you, friend?"
"Huh?" I said.
"Me, friend. You, friend?"
I stared at him. "Yeah, yeah sure, friends".

The dog looked at me for a few seconds, as if to make up in his mind the validity of our friendship. He scratched behind his ears, emitted a small squeaky fart, and said "Me, Dog".

I was fairly confident that Mistress would be able to tell the difference between this philistine and me, but I was going to go ahead and prove it empirically to Tomoko anyway. I got Dog out of his box and sat him in amongst the pillows on Mistress' bed, where he settled contentedly and played with his crotch for the rest of the afternoon.

When Mistress came home from work that evening, Tomoko and I hid in her chest of drawers, a good vantage point for spying on the bed. Mistress came in, and straightaway saw Dog sitting on her bed. A big smile came over her face, and she picked Dog up for a cuddle.

"What a chump. Your mistress can't even tell the difference" Tomoko sneered quietly as I watched in horror.
"Shut up!" I hissed.

After a few seconds though, a strange look came over Mistress' face and she held Dog out at arms' length. "You look different,' she murmured, "and you look fatter than this morning". She brought Dog closer to her face again, sniffed him, and looked utterly confused. Mistress put him back on the bed and walked out of the room, shaking her head.

"Just so you know, that didn't prove anything" Tomoko said, before I could open my mouth. "That dog is brand new and clean, of course she can tell the difference between you". Tomoko clambered snootily out of the drawers while I struggled to fight my tears.

Dog had finished playing with his crotch and looked over at the sound of the commotion we were causing. His eyes lit up when he saw Tomoko's petite little figure gliding along the carpet. Getting up and pawing his way across the bed, he caught up with her quickly.
"You, friend?" he grunted." Me, very friend!". Dog towered over little Tomoko. She gave him an icy stare but did seem just a bit frightened. "No, me NOT friend!" she squealed.
"Me very friend!" said Dog again, inching closer. Then, before any of us knew it, he had mounted Tomoko and was dry-humping her enthusiastically.

I saw Tomoko's face pinned helplessly underneath Dog. Tears of insecurity quickly turned to tears of mirth as I watched the spectacle. Not that I condone any sort of non-consensual sexual activity mind you, but that Tomoko really had it coming.


Blogger Natsthename said...

Your stories just keep getting better!! :-)

10:38 PM  

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