Tuesday, May 10, 2005

B-b-bad To The Bone



I like to think of myself as a progressive pup, in tune with the greater issues of the day. I'm responsible and informed, and I have a social conscience. Or at least that's what I thought until this morning.

"Hachiko," Tomoko piped up as we were waiting for Mistress to wake up.
"Wot" I said gruffly.
"Do you realise that we're bad for the environment?" she said, her dark eyes shining up at me.

"Course we're not" I replied. "That's like saying cows are bad for the environment cos they fart. It's like saying weeds are bad cos they take over other plants. For goodness' sake, it's like saying Mistress was bad! They ARE the environment. I mean, we are the environment".

Tomoko shook her head "Well, that's not strictly true. You're right about the cows and the weeds and Mistress and-"
"She's not your mistress" I cut in. "She's mine".
"OK. Your mistress. They're all part of the natural environment. But you and me" she looked pointedly at the Made in China tag on my backside, "are most definitely polluting the environment."

I was outraged. "Polluting the environment? I don't produce any waste or make any rubbish, except maybe the odd Battenburg cake wrapper" I said. Tomoko looked at me. "Alright, and I use a bit of electricity when I'm on the computer, but that's definitely it".

"That much may be true, but you completely fail to take into account our origins" said Tomoko. "We're both made in China,"- she tilted so I could see the stamp on her base- "a country not exactly known for stringent environmental guidelines in its manufacturing industry. You're made of synthetic fabrics and I'm made of hard plastic, both of which are materials that create considerable pollutants as by-products. You and me individually wouldn't have created all that much pollution, but considering there's probably tens of thousands of us all over the planet, that's pretty bad".

"Bah, you don't know what you're talking about" I said. "And even if it were true, what do you want me to do about it? Should I ask the factories to stop making us?" I was obviously joking. What a silly dog.

"You jest, but think about it" said Tomoko. "It would be helping the environment, as well as making us, the existing toys, more valuable. We'd be practically an endangered species after this".

"But I'm already unique to Mistress" I protested. "She'd be able to tell the difference between me and any of my brethren in an instant. She loves me!" I tried to sound confident, but Tomoko had hit a nerve.

"Oh yeah?" she said "Then prove it to me".

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